after saying something mean about an ex-bff:

d.s.:"i'm going to hell..."
k.h.: "yeah..."
d.s.: "buuuut, i just bought a new bible?!"

b.w.: i didn't get a test!
k.h.: that's because you're ugggggly...

walking past a sopping wet piece of garbage laying in a parking lot..

"...omg, that looks like a squished ostomy bag!?!" - d. smith

background: ally making fun of d.k. and her possible crush...

d.k.: shut up missy..

a.d.: haha nope. i'm here to plague you.

just strange.

d.s: oh geeze you aren't old

m.t: haha, right, sorry we aren't old, we are only 25 (except while I am in Korea, I am 26 :( ) they count you as 1 year already when you are born seriously

d.s: so I lost a year and a day of my life coming to Korea

m.t: haha, atleast I can get it back when I go home

sometimes we all ask stupid questions....or just ask stupid people

the exact content of this conversation was not recorded...but you'll get the general idea.

s.g: did you guys study for skills?

d.s: eh yah sort of. we are doing it right now.

s.g: oh yah i'm trying but just fooling around on the internet.

d.s: question. do you know what aersol effect is?

s.g: um. yah..blah blah blah


ok point is... d.s asked S.G for an answer. WTF.
(writer will not admit that she is d.s. or may deny the fact that this converstaion ever occured)

d.s.: you wanna go rub some cream on a patient's bum for me?

d.k.: no.

d.s.: why?! i liiiike doing stuff like that!

only from k.h.

k.h.: K i gotta go
Andrew got back early :D :D YAY!! Hes coming to get me right now
d.s.: alrighty!
k.h.: and then i'm gonna make sweet passionate love
d.s.: omg. horrible.
k.h.: so in a about a half an hour... Think about THAT!!!!!!!!!!!

"we need to start listening to ____'s phone conversations cause there is definitely some funny shit in there..." - d. smith

looking at a... well-used.. drug book:

"omg, this is from nineteen fortymillion!" - d. smith

d.s.: why do we never have a 3-way conversation with katy?

d.k.: you should have just said why do we never have a 3-way with katy and then we would have been able to quote it...

d.k.: let's go on a roadtrip. i'll help pay for the gas and keep you awake the whole time.. that'll be my contribution.

d.s.: what?! youuuuu're gonna keep me awake? that's like saying [someone whose name will not be disclosed] doesn't annoy me. 

d.k.: o_O

d.k.: i love that thing.

d.s.: it suits you.

wtf

from the mouth of k. hopkins

1. "he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every stick on the way down."

2. "i had crotch sex wayyyyy before butt sex."

3. "i took my tampon out and didn't put another one in. it might be a little bit out of control under there.."

"as long as you come out with your face flushed and nipples hard, i've done my job here." - s. nelson

referring to a patient's foot:

"it looked like a mangled, like, hunk of meat." - k. hopkins

on the phone to christine's boyfriend who she has met all of two times:

"how are you feeling? ... no, how are you feeling emotionally?" - d. smith

"this may sound like a stupid question but... the words break and fracture are used interchangeably?" - s. g.

you're right. stupid question.

JUST KEENIN'

facebook status: "_______ says you know you are a nursing student when the only reason you love the weekend is because it entails sleep!"

comment: "no. kidding. THAT should be a t-shirt!"

immediately after establishing that the suffix "-ase" refers to an enzyme that destroys something (ie. a neurotransmitter):

"so what does acetylcholinesterase destroy?" - s. g.

"i should get my mom to buy me an old chandelier and i'll just spraypaint the shit out of it." - d. smith

worst quote ever

"sweetmongous" - d. smith

d.s.: why are we in nursing?! seriously.

d.k.: we really need to drop out and start some kind of multi... i don't know.. multi-business business. i'll design pet clothes.. 

d.s.: and i'm a chef, soo..

d.k.: yeah really.

d.s.: we'll call it: 'do you need something fabulous done? we'll do it.'" 

"i hear mono's going around so don't kiss randoms." - s. cherewayko

while explaining important considerations regarding the administration of a suppository: 

"don't scare the rectum." - d. smith

"how do you spell really? one L or two?" - j. chorneychuk

girl on cell phone: "hey mom, who's the author you like?"

THE author.
that's funny.

"muffin tops - good to eat, look bad on you" - d. r. smith

version 2.0:

"muffin tops: good to eat, not to wear" - d. krahn

"if she's kinda engaged then i'm kinda engaged.. and I'M NOT FUCKING ENGAGED!" - k. hopkins

"my hands look like an abortion" - r. strang