lmao

"some like the balogna sandwich"

N.S

cat lady i am not!

"I'm scared that I'm going to come back and you'll be that. (points to a certain action figure) In your house coat, having quit your job and dropped out of school, and have bought 8 more cats." - C.M.

Resolution

Random phone call from K.H. to N.S.
K.H: "Guess what! I made a resolution today to not say the F bomb anymore unless absolutely necessary!"
"Oh really? That's great!"
"Yeah seriously. If I slip up I need you to let me know."
"Sure."
>>3 minutes later in same phone call...
"So did you get cable yet?
"No. I don't think I'm ever getting cable."
"Oh fuck!! I'm gonna miss America's Next Top Model!!"
"Um...I think you were trying to cut down on the f word, weren't you?"
"Yeah! That one was totally needed though. That show is gold."

what in the hell? unnecessary.

a found gem, while studying.

"If I had to choose vicks inhalers or sexual contact for the rest of my life... I might choose vicks inhalers. JS." - d.k.

superwoman

D Smith: I feel like these boots make me have super powers!!!

"let me give you an Indian burn" - c.m.

"don't use such a derogatory term" - d.s

"ok, let me give you a First Nations burn" - c.m.

"like how does that work? do you just come on over, then hop into bed?" - d.k.

- overheard whilst having a conversation about "fuck buddies" with k.h.

ears - pt.2

"Do pigs have ears?" - the one and only d.k.

Just a hilar news-feed on K. Hops FB

Rodney Thompson: Loves making other people feel uncomfortable.

David Thomas Allanto: too bad they are all ladies!!!!!! but thats ok, gay is cool now.

Baaahahahaha

p.o.: ughghghghg i am soooo olllld
d.k.: i would like to hear you say ughgughughg sometime. just a simple request.
p.o.: lol i do it sometimes. like when i am trying to display an overlarge amount of disgust. like a cartoon amount. to be annoying.
d.k.: good cause i can't wait to hear it. does heidi appreciate it?
p.o.: she does the sigh, let head fall back with eyes closed when i do it. like, "why am i dating him. why do i let him touch me.." good ol heidi. she totally got the short end of the stick.

to d.k. and n.s. in the middle of a nice family conversation:

k.h.: you know what i think?! you guys just really need to fuck already.

tried to think of the least sexy food.. but ultimately an epic fail

k.h.: man, i love fondues soo much. they are like the sexiest food there is.
n.s.: you could make any food sexy though... like, even a hot dog..


bahhahhah
thx.

teh internetz

discussing internet phenomena..
the word "phenom" comes up:

d.k.: how do you pronounce phenom anyway? fee-nom? or fuh-nom?
p.o.: phenomemeNOMNOMNOM

p.o.: i read a prayer at the hospice today. voluntarily. out loud. in a ceremony. in front of everyone.
d.k.: you are a good person.
p.o.: no. it was for the workers.

susan boyle

d.k.'s cute mom: you should google her on ebay!

d.s.: *making fun of k.h. for not knowing anything about jesus* she doesn't even know that jesus died on easter!!

d.s./d.k./c.j.: what is cardiac tamponade again?! we always forget..
k.h.: i dunno, i just remember it cause it's like a tampon. just gets up in there and stops shit from happening.

d.k.: *talking about creep at starbucks who kept saying he wished he had a camera with him so that he could take a picture of her and have it blown up and then painted and put on his wall*
k.h.: if you don't want weirdos talking to you, tell them to fuck off. it works wonders! i know from experience. wait, was he ugly?
d.k.: no.. decently good looking.
k.h.: REALLY? hit that shit up then.

the glorious life of katy hopkins

d.k.: so what'd you do all day?
k.h.: nothin. i got up at 1, went back to bed at 5, and woke up at 8. tried to force myself to do pilates but failed. watched paris hiltons BBF. ate some stuff.
d.k.: ...

weirdest bf/gf evar

a.g.: u havent called me all night and ur phone is off...
k.h.: hey! well, i have nothin to say lol!! im just chilllinn

smarts

(D.S, D.K, and K.H all trying to figure out a question on D.S's cellphone "Are you smarter than a fifth grader?")
"oh whatever, its ok, we're in Nursing"

BP convos

D.S. to D.K: you are disabled.

Pt 2

k.h.: the couple that does skills on a dummy together stays together

UB

d.s.: just ask UB out already!!
d.k.: noo he would totally turn me down and how embarrassing would that be.. would just have to see him every dayyy!
d.s.: he so wouldn't; you're a little bit of a UB yourself.. and UB plus UB = great UB couple.

k.h.: they're the same colour but one is orange.

o rly

p.o.: "have you ever tried earplugs? it is just like being in the womb."

k.h.: "man, turns out, AIDS in the eye, not so funny"

sometimes parents are funny too.

Just a little email convo:

i am going to use your ******** account because it will take me to long to enter my new credit card. and i don't want to miss out on good tickets. they are not that expensive. just 20 dollars each. you can take the money out of my account.

thanks mom!

dani*

________________________________________________

Dani,

You mean take if from the money that you don't have, and pay for it from my money?

Mom

o_0

d.k.: on a sidenote, there are 3x as many cats as humans here. that is just BAD.
d.s.: haha.. there is always 2X as many here.. tis not so bad
d.k.: 3x is 50% more than 2x. just sayin.
d.s.: huh?! o_0
d.k.: 3 cats is 50% more than 2 cats
d.s.: orrrr 33% more. o0.
d.k.: no. 50%
d.s.: so confused no time for _

what may be overheard in almost any situation:

"christine. fucking. johnson!"

*out of nowhere*

"Why is D.H. so pretty, it makes me want to kill myself." - K. Hopkins

compromise!

A.G: i want red lobster so bad
K.H: eeeeeew
K.H:I want Olive Garden!!
A.G: No! Red Lobster!!
A.G: ill eat at red lobster and sit at the window and you can do the same at olive garden and we can wave to each other
A.G: that will be our date

L M A O

d.s.: *venting about a certain douchebag* so he sent me this text and it was like "don't be a crazy bizatch..."

k.h.: first of all, it's bizNATCH..

New years

K.H: How was your new years?
R.H: it was pretty much an epic failure

(K.H talking to her brother, R.H)