susan boyle

d.k.'s cute mom: you should google her on ebay!

d.s.: *making fun of k.h. for not knowing anything about jesus* she doesn't even know that jesus died on easter!!

d.s./d.k./c.j.: what is cardiac tamponade again?! we always forget..
k.h.: i dunno, i just remember it cause it's like a tampon. just gets up in there and stops shit from happening.

d.k.: *talking about creep at starbucks who kept saying he wished he had a camera with him so that he could take a picture of her and have it blown up and then painted and put on his wall*
k.h.: if you don't want weirdos talking to you, tell them to fuck off. it works wonders! i know from experience. wait, was he ugly?
d.k.: no.. decently good looking.
k.h.: REALLY? hit that shit up then.

the glorious life of katy hopkins

d.k.: so what'd you do all day?
k.h.: nothin. i got up at 1, went back to bed at 5, and woke up at 8. tried to force myself to do pilates but failed. watched paris hiltons BBF. ate some stuff.
d.k.: ...

weirdest bf/gf evar

a.g.: u havent called me all night and ur phone is off...
k.h.: hey! well, i have nothin to say lol!! im just chilllinn

smarts

(D.S, D.K, and K.H all trying to figure out a question on D.S's cellphone "Are you smarter than a fifth grader?")
"oh whatever, its ok, we're in Nursing"

BP convos

D.S. to D.K: you are disabled.

Pt 2

k.h.: the couple that does skills on a dummy together stays together

UB

d.s.: just ask UB out already!!
d.k.: noo he would totally turn me down and how embarrassing would that be.. would just have to see him every dayyy!
d.s.: he so wouldn't; you're a little bit of a UB yourself.. and UB plus UB = great UB couple.